Welcome to the Pieism Blog!

This blog is the official blog for Pieism, written by the JoJo, Prophet and Leader of Pieism, and managed by the online division of Crustacean magazine, the premium publication for lobsters and all Pieists everywhere. To find about more about Pieism, go to Pieism: The Official Site.

Monday, 22 December 2014

Merry Khanmas

Seasons greetings fellow Pieists as we celebrate another Khanmas, also sometimes called Piemas or Eat Mince Pie day. It's easy in the midst of good food and gift-giving to forget the true meaning of Khanmas but it's something I'd like us all to hold to heart this year: the earthly birth of our lord Genghis Khan. Though many propagandists of the Anti-Pie have attempted to besmirch Genghis' good name as some sort of mass-murdering tyrant, we know the truth that he was a fair and just leader without parallel and that especially at this time of year it is our responsibility to preach the truth of his life to others. So join us in honouring the birth of Genghis Khan to his mother Hoesin and be sure to say the Pie's prayer over your Khanmas dinner.

Our pastry, who art in space,
Pie be thy name,
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on Earth as it is on Mars.
Give us our daily pies,
and lead us not into Turtleism,
for thy is the meat, the gravy and the crust,
forever and forever,
Amen.

In other news, the Pieism official site is down at the moment for unknown reasons, hopefully it'll be back up soon. Hold on tight!

Saturday, 25 October 2014

JoJo denies link with Turtleist group

Several weeks after newspaper Turtle Daily published an article slamming the Queen of Pugs, Puggles Pugster, the JoJo has officially denied links with controversial Turtleist leader  "the Turtle Alex VIII". In an interview with the magazine Crustacean, the JoJo clarified his position.

"I give my full support to the Queen of Pugs as the divinely ordained monarch of both Pugland and all pugs everywhere, as well as contesting the claims that she has no popular mandate or reigns against the will of the pug people. Neither I or the government of Mars are in direct contact with the terrorist leader Alex and urge all turtles to repudiate this dangerous ideology before it causes more damage to our shared worlds."

Turtleists are a schism of Pieism who broke away from the JoJo in 2009 after theological disagreements and considered heretical by most Pieists. Rather than worshipping the Pie, the group honours the Turtle spirit and believes he has been reincarnated at-least eight times, most recently as the leader known as Alex. Ex-Turtleists claim that the group's ideology is inconsistent and is focused on extracting money from it's turtle adherents rather than spiritual enlightenment.

Since the schism the Turtleists are widely believed to have been behind several terrorist attacks on Mars, most famously hijacking a space shuttle which was then crashed into the Pie-11 building of Olympus Mons, costing many civilian lives. In another infamous incident, robotic rights leader Jimmy the Droid was fatally shot at a rally by Alex VIII. Since then relations have been frostly but tensions have recently been running high after the Time Defence Force attempted a raid on Turtville to secure one of the turtles suspected of plotting the Pie-11 attacks, though the suspect ultimately escaped after the force came under heavy fire.

Queen Puggles has also issued a statement exclaiming annoyance and condemnation of Turtle Daily's claims and has called for an inquiry into how false statements about Pugland's tax were published on their website. 

Monday, 10 March 2014

8 years of Pie!

10th March, 2006. That was the day our journey started and eight years later, I can't believe it's still continuing. But it is. Much is still being learned about our holy Pie, gravy be upon it, and it's world and in time further updates will come to the official website which reflect what we've uncovered. Some news I can report now is that my sister Rose, the human incarnation of the Queen of Pugs, is now the third-in-command of human Pieism, after myself and my friend the Bodyguard. Onwards Pieism and to another great year with the Pie!

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

A month of updates

Good evening fellow Pieists, long time no speak. Just a head's up, for the past week or so I've been updating all of the various Pieism sites and blogs etc and that'll probably continue for another week or two, so hang on, it'll be worth it I promise :-)

Also, happy seven and a half years since Founding Day!

Saturday, 10 March 2012

6 Years of Pieism - 2012 Reboot

Good day my loyal followers, today is six whole years since I first founded Pieism and one year since I posted on this blog. Welcome to the 7th year of Pie! I'm happy to announce that as a celebration of what our religion has done so far, a number of holy changes to streamline and improve the canon of Pieism will be happen over the remainder of 2012. Most of these changes will be most evident on the Pieism Official Site.

Watch the official site for the changes to arrive! Onwards Pieism and here's to another six years of success!

Thursday, 10 March 2011

5 Years of Pieism - Final Post Ever?

Hello fellow Pieists, today is 10th March 2011, 5 entire years to the day after I founded Pieism all those years ago! So much has happened since then; the finding of sacred scrolls, the rise of the lobsters, the writing of the Book of Pie, the tales of the future... but it's time to say goodbye. For the time being I have other important duties in my life to attend to, so for now I will not update this blog or any other Pieism site. I may return in the future, but for now, keep the teachings of the holy Pie close to you and by the power of the gravy you shall be saved.

Your's in Pie,

JoJo

Thursday, 1 July 2010

Exams Finished!

Good news, I have finally finished the A-level exams which have been taking up so much of my time recently! Now, I will have more time for Pieism again. The other good news is that as long as I get my grades, I will be going to Exeter for uni, the town of my birth! This was destined to happen I think, and is the next stage of my holy journey. So until next time, may the Pie be with you!